I’m the first one to make a joke about my ageing brain when I forget something or call my simple mistake a ‘senior moment’

But I’m also the first person to realise that that it really isn’t funny and we shouldn’t joke about it. Dementia broke my mums heart.

Every week she would go down to visit my Grandmother in the nursing home and every week the frail little lady she had become would deny knowledge of her, claiming that her daughter was a child and never recognising mum.

Every week she would sit in the car park outside the home and shed a tear for her lost mum. The vital, energetic woman who brought up 3 children during the war, the woman who took  the stairs 2 at a time until she was nearly 80, and the woman famed in the family for her Irish dancing, had become a withered shell of her former self. She didn’t know us, didn’t know where she was and was spoon fed whilst wearing a bib by total strangers and slept in a cot like a child in case she fell out.But she was very old, over 90 when she died,and that sort of thing happens to old people doesn’t it?

You know how it goes, – “she had a good innings”

But what about the man of 55? The vital, clever, funny, active man, looking forward to embarking on retirement? The man known for his high intellect, the man who’s future was a camper van and travelling with his wife, the birth of his grandchildren and so much more.

Did he have a “good innings”? Should his families last memories of him be the same withered body and lack of recognition from their loved one?

No of course it shouldn’t, his grandchildren should have happy memories of time spent with him, his wife should be tutting because now he has retired he is under her feet all the time, and instead he is a memory in a photograph and the house is very big and empty without him.

Dementia awareness week runs from the 19th to the 25th May, Please stop and spare a thought for those who have dementia. Those whose families fall apart. Those who care for a loved one and those left behind at the end, struggling to remember the person they loved before the dementia stole them away.

It’s that joyous time of year again!

So how do we all survive? Well the teachers will have to answer for themselves I’m afraid, I’ve never been there so can’t help (although the requests for Oreo cheesecake seem to be on the increase from those that I know!)

We’ve survived several sets or varying levels now, so what follows is only our opinion, there is no fail safe way to guarantee success, and what works for us may not work for you. But if we can help you through it, then all the better !

1.   Breakfast, always start exam day with a decent breakfast, a slow release carb, milk and fruit if possible. We always go for porridge on exam days if we can.

Along side what they eat, their environment is important. It should be as normal as possible, if you make a fuss of what is to come, so will they! Play down the tension by just being as normal family (well, as normal as you ever are anyway!)

2.   Getting to school. I well remember Bernard having a ‘brain gym’ session at the beginning of each day at primary school.Basic basic warm- up exercises to kick start their system, which in turn kick starts their brains.

So do the same on an exam day, try and walk to school if you can, fresh air and a brisk walk to stimulate their grey matter.. It’s not always possible, so if you have a long walk, or tricky roads to deal with, have a dose of callisthenics before you leave the house. And I don’t mean in gym kit, star jumps and pull ups, dancing to the radio, and a game of tag round the garden are just as helpful!

3.   Pressure. The school and the system put our kids under a lot of pressure, don’t add to it! We all want our children to be successful in life, but success can’t always be measured by standards that other people set down for us. Being good at writing an English essay or answering maths problems isn’t the be all and end all of success. Being happy, being loved and being supported and supportive is successful – and if you give your child that success, then the exams will fall into place!

4.    Expectation. Don’t expect your child to do as well as little Timmy down the road, don’t be drawn into a battle of results with the yummy mummys in the playground or on FB. Who cares what they got? The only person your children should compete with is themselves, as long as they’ve improved their own score – then they are an epic learner!   If they don’t get the result you wanted, don’t show disappointment, they are probably already disappointed in themselves and you’re just adding to the pressure, which is never going to help them get any better!

5.     Exam prep and technique. I have very strong opinions on Sats test – and in fact I removed Splosh from a set because I wasn’t happy with the pressure from the teacher! And I wrote to the governers and OFSTED and told them as much! No- one should pressure a primary aged child about exams and in the grand scheme of life – the results are irrelevant! So don’t sweat it, and they won’t either! When you get to GSCE and A level – step back! The school will be pressuring them enough for both of you! Treat them like the young adult they are, explain the implications of not passing and let them get on with it! If they screw it up, they will pay the price and learn a valuable lesson! The chances are with support and understanding from you they won’t! But if you bully them into revision they will kick against it and the time is taken up with battles not revision and you end the day stressed and at loggerheads. Mental attitude is half the battle in learning, so you won’t be helping them succeed! They have to learn to succeed for themselves, because it benefits them, and make their own decisions – now is as good a time to start as any!

Teach them to switch exams on and off! Don’t engage in the hyped up pressure with class mates before hand – it won’t help and only make them doubt what they know. As soon as it’s over – switch it off, the exam is over, you can’t change it so don’t involve yourself in the post exam conversations about who wrote what and what was the answer to 3b? Listening to others may make you doubt your answer, and giving yours may upset someone else who got it wrong.

I hope the exam season goes well for you all, and that the results you get will give you the opportunities you want!

Don’t fall out over it all! No results in the world are worth fighting over!

I look at pictures in magazines of white, minimal houses with sleek lines and clear shelves and I sigh. One day I will live like that!

My dining room table will be set as the perfect place to enjoy a leisurely dinner, a vase of wild flowers from the garden and a crisp clean cloth. Right now of course, it is the semi-permanent home for the sewing machine, a stack of mail waiting to be dealt with, the debris from my handbag and several half drunk cups of coffee.

My living room will be clear of junk, the mantlepiece the place for a framed photo of the perfect, photogenic family laughing in the sunshine on a tropical beach, hair blowing in the wind. The book cases will be colour co-ordinated and filled with worthy novels and the latest ‘must haves’ in the world of non fiction. The sofas will match the colour scheme and be cosy and clean with an array of matching scatter cushions. Of course now the books case is the refuge for left over birthday cards and dog eared paperbacks which have been read almost to death. The sofas is a haven for cat hair and there is usually no room for humans to sit as the feline family make it their own. The mantlepiece is where that ‘useful thing’ you mustn’t loose has to live, alongside a picture of my loony family gurning at the camera in a high wind, in December, on the Essex coast!

Don’t even get me started on the kitchen……….

So how do we achieve this minimalist lifestyle? Move house and leave everything behind is probably a good start! But having a clear out and going to a car boot sale is worth a try! Although we always seem to come back with more than we started with. Sell you stuff online someone told me, ‘give me a chance without distractions on the computer I told them’

But with half term approaching we have a week with all of us at home, so empty cupboards, hunt through the loft, dig around in the shed and get rid of the things we really don’t need or want any more, so we take one step towards the sleek, fashionable living that everyone else seems to have.

(In truth, we’ll open a box of family treasures, get sentimental and spend the rest of the week telling stories about it to any poor sod who will listen! Maybe we should be aiming for the ‘cluttered eclectic’ look instead, I mean with the junk in my house – we’re half way there already!)

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Apparently  once you are 17, mum is not allowed to make decisions about your clothes any more! And suggesting that we could go on a shopping trip to buy new Disco Pants is to be greeted with a raised eyebrow and and tut.

We have had this conversation too many times, there’s irony and then there’s just taking it too far. Stop.

Fair enough so no disco pants, what about a new party frock – maybe a sailors collar and some bows ? I miss you being small and wearing cute dresses and a velvet coat?

A new party frock I very much agree on, however I think we need some rules: NO bows and NO sailors collar. But if you wish to buy me a velvet coat, I won’t stop you.

I suspect we are imagining 2 different kinds of velvet coat! And I’m not going to get flowery tights and buckle up shoes on you either am I ?

Well . . . perhaps we are, but you weren’t specific! Hmmm I’ll think about the flowery tights, but dear god no to flat buckle up mary janes. Ever.

So you’re not adversed to Mary Janes in principle ?

Not at all, for instance something like this would be fabulous on all fronts! 

Oooo! good choice! And probably wouldn’t work with the flowery tights and party frock! But having gone through that web site a bit further, I think maybe this one is a good one – whatcha reckon?

Why thank you. Yeah I don’t think the tights would be so good here . . . Well your taste in clothing is growing by the day, that’s ever so lovely, but what about this one? 

Loving the colour! but maybe different shoes? what about these with it, by the way – loving the online shopping, cup of tea, slippers and no crowds – perfect!

Mother dearest, I have taught you well, I completely love the shoes!! However if we’re going different shoes, then  this is the dress that must be considered above all others, because I am now forever in love with it, and if you apart us it may be a Romeo and Juliet situation. And oh my gosh yes, the lack of people is awesome. 

My darling girl, you have impeccable taste! Just like your mummy! So we have a dress and shoes, now all we need is a posh place to go so you can wear them…………….

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When we were asked to review some shoes for a new company based in London, we jumped at the chance. Well,  I mean me and Bernard – new shoes – and for free – every girls dream!

We duly chose our size and preferred colour and willed the postman to come as soon as possible! He did, and we raced each other to open the parcel!

Bernard had chosen blue (her favourite colour)

And I chose purple (my favourite)

The colours were wonderful and just as bright and ‘cheeky’ as shown on the web site

For me (Mary), I was very happy with them, they were comfortable, flexible and just perfect for a lightweight pair of summer shoes. And I’ve given them a fair pounding! I have worn them almost exclusively for over a week now and I may not take them off! The only down side is that I have wide feet and would love for them to be a slightly wider fitting, but it’s a minor thing and they are still a firm favourite for me!

Summed up in a triplet (by Bernard); they are flexible, comfortable and versatile. My cheeky shoes have gone with me from lounging about in the garden, to walking into town and to the daily trek to college (even during long and tedious exams, I was able to sit cross legged on my chair without any discomfort at all). A perfect pair of shoes for putting into a suitcase and taking on holiday with you, in fact mine are off to Paris with me this weekend.

To top off the whole experience, I have to commend the owners of cheeky shoes Marcin and Pavel who are just very lovely people! here’s to them and the future of cheeky shoes!

If you want to try a pair for yourself, here’s a little competition to brighten your day!

We have 3 pairs away, 1 pair to each of the selected winners

To be in with a chance of winning, please use the widget bellow,

All entries must be made using the Rafflecopter widget. 

The only mandatory requirement is that a blog comment be left via the widget, other entry methods ar optional

UK entry and delivery only

The winner will be notified within 7 working days  by email using the email address used to leave the comment so it must be valid and advised that they will be contacted by Cheeky shoes or their agents to arrange fulfilment of this prize.  By entering you agree to my providing your email details to a third party and that you will be happy to supply your delivery address to them.

No responsibility will be taken by Keynko for non-fulfilment by the promoters.

The winner must have fulfilled the mandatory requirement of leaving a comment below.

The prize is not transferable and there is no cash alternative.

The prize is one pair of cheeky shoes per winner.

Winner’s name will also be tweeted and listed on this post subsequent to the end of the competition.

Disclosure: We were sent 2 pairs of cheeky shoes to test out , review and keep free of charge, all thoughts and opinions are our own.

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My lovely chum Mammasaurus has started a new link for a Thursday and given what a wonderful couple of weekends we’ve had in the garden I thought it was a good time to join in!

Now you’ll all know I’m no great gardener, and my past attempts at growing things hasn’t always gone well. But this time it’s different! We moved here last September at the end of the lovely summer weather and so we never really go to appreciate how lovely our new garden was, but now the sun is shining again we are beginning to realise how lucky we are to have an established garden to live in.

It’s not neat edges and straight lawns, crisp borders and planting schemes. It’s a bit of a hodge podge, slightly shabby round the edges, ‘rustic’ cottage garden. And I bloody love it!

Gate is always open to visitors!

Inspired by the wonderful American Resident I have decided to join her link up and go sight seeing where I live!

We’re very lucky to live where we do in Britains oldest recorded market town. We have a beautiful castle, excellent museums, an award winning town centre park and more hisotry than you can shake a stick at! But if you came to visit me, I would take you to my favourite place, the place where we spent so many happy hours with the children when they were little.

picture courtesy of colchester.gov.uk

Our country park has been the scene of more happy family days out than I could count. Picnics by the climbing tree where we would spend whole days during the holidays, with yummy things to eat, a Blanket to sit on and special library books for a ‘reading picnic’.

The lake where we have fed the ducks and watched for fish. The stream with the swing across it, where so many people have fallen in and where someone once lost their wellington in the mud!

The paths through the woods where we have played hide and seek, tracked each other with coloured rags tied to trees, and pretended to be Robin Hood.

The visitors centre where children have been collected from numerous woodland birthday parties we have held, and where the first rush of enthusiasm at being let out of the car shows itself – even now they are grown up!

The hedgerows that have yielded so many blackberries for crumble and rose-hips for jam

And now my babies are bigger, we can enjoy grown up strolls in the woods and talk and laugh and enjoy the view. But we still get to see it through small peoples eyes as we enjoy extended friends/family trips with an new generation of explorers, hunting dinosaurs, hiding from the grown ups and my babies teaching other babies to climb trees!

Those of you who know me, know I’m no twiggy! I might have been many many years ago, but time, children and lots of cake have formed the woman you see before you!.

But this isn’t about me or my lardy arse, this is about people referring to anyone over a size 10 as a ‘curvy girl’ or a ‘plus size’. Now there are lots of people who will be able to put it far more eloquently than I’m going to – but they’re not angry!

Why is size ever even mentioned? What relevance is the size? By making a point that you have included ‘curvy girls’ in your sizing only makes an example of them! Again!

Now I’ve looked at what ‘the fashion industry’ term a ‘curvy girl’ or ‘plus size model’ And it’s a freaking size 10/12 ! Seriously? That makes my baby girl ‘plus size’

Is she anything other than just lovely? Do we have to label her as being a particular size of shape? Do we need to label anyone?

And it’s talk of ‘plus size’ and images of stick thin skeletons on cat walks and bloody bloody Victoria bloody Beckham and her ilk that make our daughters paranoid about the size of their arse! Or Stupid, pointless, worthless Katie sodding Price, bitching about someone (don’t remember which pointless celebrity it was) because she looked fat in a swimsuit

I have just passed this post past Bernard to ask that she is ok with! She is and has approved the picture use. She has however pointed something out to me. We are equally guilty of upsetting girls who are naturally slender, or have a small bust. By referring to ‘curvy’ as ‘sexy’ – when it’s convenient – we make slender girls feel bad and ‘unwomanly’ So my apologies lovely girl – I stand corrected!

 In essence - quit it, stop judging everyone by dress size, or posing every woman in the media like a pole dancer – tell her she is beautiful because she is clever, because she is kind, because she has ambition and drive! Because she is funny or witty or studious or for a million other reasons other than the size of her arse! It not about the way she looks!

As the mothers of girls, we have a great responsibility to give them every chance possible in a tough world that will test their resolve and sanity, lets not give them more baggage to carry!

Sorry for the rant! I’ll go back to my cocoa and slippers now! Soap box has buckled under my weight!

I’ve linked to Mummy Barrow’s Ranty Friday - go on over and see what else makes people cross!

For those of you local enough to visit, (Colchester) we love to see you at the Vintage junk Jamboree!

A fun day of music, vintage treasure shopping and good company with ll the profits to a good cause!

So whether you fancy a vintage hair make over, some awesome shoes or maybe something beautiful for your house – this is the place to go.

We’re going to have a stall there and wold love to meet as many of you as possible!

Oh god I’m singing Cliff Richard…somebody stop me, for the sake of my own sanity!

Right now we have that out of the way, it’s that time of year again everyone. We’ve had a whole weekend of sunshine, B&Q have sold out of barbecues as people panic buy in case it doesn’t happend again this year. Everyone has dug their flip-flops from the back of the closet and we are all thinking about finding cheap holiday offers .

We haven’t even talked about it so far this year, of course lack of money does rather put a dent in holiday plans but we need to do something this summer. Last year was a wash out as we were busy moving house and our total holiday time consisted of a break in packing to watch some of the Olympics on TV.

Past holidays have usually involved either camping or visiting friends in far flung corners of the country. We are hoping this year to maybe do something a bit different, but given our wide age range and differences of interest, it could be tricky! It’s also the first time we plan a holiday that doesn’t or can’t involve Splosh! He is off to the wilds of Norway this summer so won’t be joining us.

So a whole summer ahead of us, what shall we do? Take a beach holiday, all armed with a good book and some sun screen, visit a holiday camp with amusements for teenagers and bingo for us oldies? Dear god save me from that! Not that I wouldn’t happily sit on a beach (in the shade, being pale skinned) but I think Mr K might have a seizure if I told him thats what we were going to do!

So we’re back to the drawing board then, camping? well I love it, but it’s hardly restful. City break? Sooo much money and having to get 2 hotel rooms (Bernard is really too old to be sharing with us)and which city bla bla  Holiday camp? God no – we’d all hate that! A ski trip? Well none of us can really ski and we didn’t win the lottery, so I’m guessing it’s back to the drawing board!

Maybe we’ll leave it and do something last minute, maybe a ‘staycation’ ? Maybe stay with friends again? After all we have fab friends who live in pretty places and I haven’t been to Wales for a while…hint hint…….

One day, before I’m too old to appreciate it I will do the beach thing, a big hat, a good book and the crashing waves. A chilled cocktail brought to me, beautiful food served overlooking the sunset….. hmmmmmm

Oh well, back to the real world with a bump, laundry and housework I guess, but a girl can dream can’t she………………

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