When someone asked me what it really felt like to become a parent for the first time, I had to ponder for quite a while, after all is was now 22 years ago, and my memory – as well you all know – is pretty shocking!
So how did I feel? pretty overwhelmed I guess, the idea of parent hood is all well and good, I mean you have 9 months to get used to it, preparing clothes, buying a pushchair, stocking up on nappies and wandering the shelves in the local baby shop, over come with the need to buy hundreds of ‘gadgets’ we all now know you really don’t need!
And then suddenly one day – you’re a parent, there is a whole person right there in front of you, dependant on you for everything, who loves you unconditionally and will always no matter what the world throws at you or how grown up they get… be your child.
And was it a life reborn? I guess it was, the reckless teenager was gone – in an instant and there was a mummy. Someone who had to take another person into account when planning a day or a trip or a meal. And what an incredible feeling it was too!
I’ve tried to explain it to other people who don’t have children and there just aren’t words that capture it. Stomach churning fear, roller-coaster excitement, tear jerking pride – nope – not enough.
And when 5 years later his little sister arrived it didn’t just double, it increased to the point I thought I would burst !
And what about now – 22 years since that first day with him and 17 since the first day with her, well I’m getting used to the roller-coaster ride, but the stomach churning and the tearjerking is still there. Fear that I will fail them, fear they will be unhappy, fear they will be hurt. Pride in their successes, pride in the choices they make, pride in all the potential they have inside them.
And when I don’t see them for a while, the first glimpse sends me right back to that first day with each of them. And every time …. it is a life reborn!
This post is written in collaboration with Johnson’s baby #lifeisreborn campaign