I wrote a post last December about turning over a new leaf and getting back to blogging! Well that worked out didn’t it!
I wrote exactly nothing from that point onwards! In my defence I do have a very good excuse, let me explain!
I introduced you to Millie in that post, our new family member, a rather beautiful, unwanted by others, working springer spaniel. She is adorable and I love her, despite her bin raiding and insistence on sitting at my feet when I ‘m on the loo! She has been wonderful therapy for me after everything that had happened. So 7th January, off we went for our usual Sunday morning constitutional down to the field at the end of the road. And that’s where it all went wrong! I stepped awkwardly off the kerb and crumpled to a heap in the gutter. I heard the snap before I felt it and when I looked down at my foot it was hanging out of my trouser leg at a very strange angle!
Turns out I had broken both bones in my lower leg and dislocated my ankle joint. Having never broken a long bone before, I obviously decided to do a proper job on it! So my darling Badger’s birthday was put on hold as I completed a day of “firsts” My first ambulance ride, my first general anaesthetic and my first surgery! So a 3 day stay in hospital, 9 screws and a metal plate later they sent me home, with a zimmer frame and and special seat for the shower!
6 weeks in plaster non-weighting bearing, stuck in the spare room whilst Badger was a t work so I could be closer to the bathroom and hopping to the loo! Followed by 7 weeks in a ridiculous Velcro boot and teaching myself to walk again! And that I thought would be it, I would bounce back to normal life, walking the dog, planning camping trips for the summer, visiting my daughter at her new fancy London pad…………Oh how wrong I was! In fact it has been months of nightmares, vertigo attacks, soft tissue pain, fear of crowds, an inability to cross the road without stopping for a mild panic attack first, the list goes on. I had no idea that the effects of the fracture would go on for so long, and still go on!
So after all that work to get beyond the anxiety disorder and get back to being me, with my therapy pup to help, this year has actually seen me take huge steps backwards until I’m almost further behind where I was last year!
But, accepting that this was an issue and asking for help, which was a big step for me, has made a difference and I think I might finally be on the road back to “normal”
And through all that time, housebound, with nothing to do, did I write blog posts? Or that novel I always wanted to write? Crocheted Christmas presents for everyone well in advance? Maybe read all those books I always wanted to read? No I didn’t! I slept or watched the snow fall outside the window, stared blankly at the TV screen, not taking on anything I had watched. I panicked when the phone rang or someone wanted to come and visit, despite complaining bitterly to Badger that I was lonely and wanted to see people!
So here I am, back on the road to recovery, again, working hard at staying calm and not overreacting to nothing at all, doing my physio and planning all the things I will be able to do when by ankle hurts less and I can go back to how I was before (and yes I know that may never happen, so I’m planning for a new me as well!) All this whilst going to working, completing a college course, crocheting all those Christmas presents and trying to get back to my sewing machine!
Maybe the novel will have to wait for next year!